another year

Cody and I rang in 2010 playing Trivial Pursuit on Wii. We really are old, boring married people. I wish I could use the excuse that I'm pregnant and on strict orders to take it easy, but truth be told I can't say with any certainty we'd have done anything different if Little Sister weren't cooking.

This year has been a major adjustment for our family. Rhys came home after five and a half long months in the NICU. And, I quit working to stay home with him. My career plans never included being a stay-at-home mom, but given Rhys's situation I wasn't given much of a choice. No matter how it came to be I would do it over again without hesitation. I am truly blessed to be in a position that enables me to stay at home with him. Despite having days where I feel like my brain is turning to mush, I know without a doubt that things would not have gone this smoothly (relative term here given all circumstances) had I been working outside the home. Rhys has thrown us a few curves this year... with his expedited hernia surgery, which in turn extended his need for oxygen, and his overall development. But we've dealt with it.

We continue to miss our Bentley. A day does not go by that I do not look at his footprints taken at birth and the few pictures we have of him. I wonder how he's doing, even though I know he is more than taken care of, and imagine him looking down over us. After missing him for more than a year the only definite thing I can say is that the loss never gets easier, but somehow it becomes a small bit easier to manage. Easier only in the sense that I can look at his pictures, or the contents of his memory box without completely breaking down. No parent should know what it feels like to lose a child, there is no way to fill the gap that loss leaves in your life.

Second to Rhys coming home, the best part of this year was Little Sister. Cody and I have always wanted three or four kids so we were super excited to try for number three. We've had no assurances with this pregnancy, but so far we've been truly blessed with only very minor complications. We would still love one or two more, but I can not say whether my uterus will be open for business after Little Sister's arrival. Having a high risk pregnancy is very hard on your spouse and kid(s), not to mention the family and friends who so graciously offer their help.

In 2010 we are looking forward to good health, Rhys's continued development, and the addition of Little Sister (as close to mid-March as possible!).

I'll leave you with our excitement of the day.... Cody was on the couch watching football while I was typing this post. We'd just put Rhys on the floor to play for a few minutes after his bath. I saw that he was lying to one side playing and glanced back at my screen. I hear Cody ask "Did you put him like that?", so I looked up. Rhys had rolled over in the other direction, pushed up on his elbows on his tummy, and grabbed a toy. Great for Rhys! He's been able to roll completely over from back to tummy for a while, but not without a huge amount of effort. And his rolling left and right usually stops short of him being completely face down on his tummy - certainly not that quickly and smoothly. This is great progress for Rhys, whose weak back muscles have prevented him from doing this easily. I'm hoping this is the beginning of him taking initiative to move to reach whatever it is he wants.