Sunday, April 19, 2009

I have...

...a rant today. Please humor me. In case you can't tell I feel strongly about this, to an amazing degree.

I am beyond annoyed at being criticized for how we keep Rhys isolated from potential sickness and germs. I am completely irritated that we get eye rolls and are given a hard time when we ask people to wash up before holding or touching Rhys. I am seriously tired of others acting as though they are the authority on raising children, and Cody and I are just plain silly. Should I let it bother me? Of course not. But, alas I am human and it does bother me. I am bothered, not by the comments themselves but, by the fact that anyone could truly believe they know better than we do as parents. I am fairly certain every one has an opinion. Every one is certainly entitled to think what they will, but kindly be respectful enough to keep it private. Respect the fact that our children were born 16 weeks too early. Respect that we buried one baby and then visited his brother in the hospital every day for 5.5 months before he came home. Respect the fact that our surviving child has battled things that most people don't deal with in a lifetime and therefore can not fully understand. Respect and allow us to do what we think is best for our child to keep him well and healthy and happy and out of the hospital, and know we do that exact thing for others. At the very least please be respectful enough to acknowledge that we have dealt with a heck of a lot in the last 9 months, with more to come, and we truly don't need anything else added to our plate. Okay, I'm done and feel much better.

On a hoppy, uh happy note, Rhys loves the bunny that came in his Easter basket. :o)

Today I am: 9 months and 3 days old
Adjusted I am: 5 months, 1 week and 4 days old

9 comments:

Kelly said...

I hear ya! My DS was born 14 weeks early and I had so many people tell me that I needed to stop babying him because we stayed in for his first two RSV seasons (and are still protective about germy situations). You ARE doing what is best for your baby and that is what is important.

Misty Lewis said...

Amen!! My DD was born 10 weeks early (in Jan. 07) and we had some family members that didn't understand why their 6 and 4 yr old couldn't come visit. To top that, the dad is a nurse-so I totally get your rant! I have figured out that I just can't worry about what people think-like those at church that don't understand why I still haven't put her in the church nursery. I found your blog through Baby Bella and it's so nice to read about Rhys' progress-and I'm a fellow Aggie ('01)!

Audre said...

I am not a preemie parent but I totally hear you and there is a reason God gave you Rhys and Bentley. Stick to your guns.

Traveling Ashley said...

I totally understand.... I don't have children yet, but I will be a total handwashing freak when I do. Only you know what you've been through and what you don't want to experience again. They won't be the ones with him in the hospital should he get sick either.

Jodi said...

You are not alone!! I totally understand and am behind you 100%. Nobody understands what it is like to go through what we went through. . .not only to have a baby in the NICU, but to have to bury a child. We're not paranoid, overly-protective parents. . .we are doing what needs to be done to keep our children healthy and out of the hospital!!! You are wonderful parents and Rhys is so lucky to have parents just like you!

Ellie Grace and Bennett said...

AMEN, sister!!! You know I share your same feelings and if I could cut and paste your comment I would...but, I think I irratated enough people last week with my "don't pretend to know what I feel" post. Oh well, we are a club and basically if you have never been a member than it is probably impossible for you to understand what goes on behind closed doors. I'm glad that I'm not alone...you're not alone...Jodi's not alone...we are each other's "normal" and thank goodness (or unfortunately) there are a lot of us in this world.
Blessings,
Ang
ps. Loved your comment on my post last week! It really made me feel better!

Alicia said...

Wanted to comment~longtime reader of your blog and always praying for Rhys! I am not a parent yet, but a teacher, and I fully understand your need to protect him from germs. Washing your hands is the easiest way to keep yourself well and to keep others well and I can be a germ freak at times after catching various things over the years from kids. I never mind when I visit friends with babies and they ask me to wash my hands before touching the baby, often I head to wash up as soon as I enter their house because I do not want to ever risk exposing even a healthy baby to something. You and your husband know what is right for your little boy and keep doing it, ignore all the negative comments. Y'all are doing a great job with a great little boy, you have been thru a lot and have every right to be as cautious as you can! If someone can't understand the need to wash their hands then they don't need to visit!

Jessica Kirkland said...

I went through the same thing when my triplets came home from the hospital. I got some eye rolls and "behind the back" and for that matter "to the face" comments about being paranoid when I asked people to wash their hands and please don't come over sick. Frankly, alot of people completely trampled on our wishes and then criticized our frustrations. What they didn't understand was exactly what your post stated- preemies are not a "normal" case, so you cannot treat them that way. Although "normal" might actually be a peaceful thought at times, sometimes the road from the NICU home is a difficult one. Now I have ranted on someone else's blog. Keep up the good work of protecting your baby!

Sylvia and Daniel said...

Maybe "those" people shouldn't even be allowed to hold him ; ) you're the mom and what you say goes, PERIOD! People are WAY to opinionated, especially when it's not even their child, you guys are awesome, and I've been following y'all for a while, from Ann Marie and Coy's blog, praying for all of you guys!

Blessings,
Sylvia