end of the school year

All my babies love each other.  They just do.  That isn't to say they don't have their moments, but overall the all three play so well together.  For which I am so grateful.  You may say that they're young, and you would be right.  But I have several friends with kids similar in age to ours and they do not get along like this.  So I recognize I am lucky and will take it for as long as I can!

This month marks the end of school for Zoe and Rhys.  For Rhys I am excited.  He has learned SO much this year.  More on that later.  For Zoe, I am sad.  I am not normally the one who gets emotional about this type of stuff, but picking her up on her last day today was really sad for me.  I thumbed through the album of photos and art projects the teachers put together and I actually got teary eyed.  It  means she's growing up.  Where is my baby?

Rhys isn't finished until the end of the month, but I am already dreading looking forward to having all three kids in the house all week long.  I have developed a new appreciation for all the parents who I've heard bemoan Christmas/spring break/summer when their kids are at home.  Luckily, Cody's job has an every-other-Friday-off schedule so hopefully we'll be able to pack in some trips to the zoo, children's museum and neighborhood water park.

So what's happened since our last update (that was a very long time ago)?  I'm gald you asked!

Beckett:

• my little sugar pie is crawling all over the place, he started right after Zoe's birthday and has perfected the army crawl/snake slither technique
• he gets up on all fours and rocks, but hasn't put it into motion yet
• he is pulling up on shorter height surfaces (ie. window, kid chairs, etc), but hasn't quite made it to pulling up on the couch
• his balance is still wonky and instead of falling on his butt he falls all the way backwards on his back and knocks his head
• we're really having to watch this little guy because he's sneaky and loves to explore
• se is such a happy baby, and only really cries when he wants to be picked up/held/is tired or hungry
• he loves to snuggle and he loves his momma!

Zoe:

• has quadrupled her vocabulary in the last month, no joke
• she knows more than I ever thought a barely-two-year-old could know
• is too smart for her own good
• has really started to slim down and I am finally (yea!) able to find cute shoes for her - a really big deal for me after suffering from only being able to literally find TWO pair that would fit until a couple months ago
• is very into her dolls
• is very impatient
• gives a lot of kisses and has started to say "I love you", "excuse you" (she means 'excuse me'), "thank you" and "you're welcome"
• is SO funny, but gets put in to timeout almost on a daily basis for unnecessary screaming
• is doing great in swim and is really enjoying it - her and Rhys are in the same pool together during their lesson, but have different teachers
• enjoys dancing and art, and recognizes the theme songs from her favorite shows
• knows most of her colors and is great at puzzles

Rhys:

• is almost FOUR!
• had a fantastic ARD report
• is (according to his teacher) the only of her students to ever meet all their goals within the school year, and she's been at this for a while
• is speaking a lot lately, including:
• momma
• dada
• Nonna (my mother)
• night night
• up - for picking him up or getting him down from his chair
• nono
• more
• bye bye
• hi
• bath
• speaks letter sounds and numbers
• what's that
• is doing a great job at repeating on command, which is hard for him to process
• knows numbers, letters, letter sounds and colors - I can't say he knows all of them but he definitely knows most of them - AMAZING!
• is getting a new super duper stroller, which will make our lives so much easier
• still loves to crawl
• loves to torment Zoe
• wrestles with his toys
• loves to play cars, to be outside and loves to swing
• thoroughly enjoys anything action - sports, games, car racing, etc

Easter

newest two-year-old in town

ZoZo celebrated her second birthday today at Gymboree. I have to say (other than feeling rushed to set up and get out) that was a fantastic idea for a two-year-old. She again celebrated with cousin Ian, who you may remember was born on the same day. They had a great time. Rhys and Beckett were unfortunately not feeling well enough to come to the party, and even though we missed having them there it was nice for Cody and me to be able to focus our undivided attention on Zoe.

At age two, Zoe...

• will randomly say "bye bye guys". No idea where she got that.
• loves shoes. And since her foot is slimming up Momma can indulge her with more pairs.
• prances around when wearing anything frilly and girly.
• loves her brothers.
• is still a drama queen.
• calls Courtney "CoCo".
• walks around the house asking for cookies, coke (even though we don't give her soda) and chips.
• has discovered "Melmo!" (Elmo).
• spouts out a string of vowel letters when trying to sing E-I-E-I-O in Old McDonald.
• also enjoys "Shue Shues" (Blue's Clues).
• still sucks her thumb, boo!, and is seriously attached to the lovie.
• sleeps in her big girl bed.
• laughed hysterically, in all the appropriate places, when watching Bubble Guppies the other day.
• is beginning to string multiple words into a phrase.
• is fairly good eating with utensils.
• gets easily frustrated and then throws whatever it is she is frustrated with.
• is trying to climb on everything when we're not looking.
• can (when she's in the mood) follow simple commands and instructions, which is oh so helpful.
• does not like bows or clips in her hair, I'm lucky to get a ponytail.
• is interested in the idea of the potty, but has zero interest in using it.
• loves her "baf" (bath).
• sometimes scares me in swim class when she intentionally sinks. But she always comes up smiling. What a daredevil!
• can be summed up in one word: sassy!

yikes!

We're currently on spring break, and just let me admit it is hard to go from having kids full time, to kids in school part-time, and then back to having kids in the house all day. I now understand all the Christmas/spring/summer break comments from parents with school age kids! Not only have I had all three kids all week, two are currently sick.

Zoe came down with an ear infection two weeks ago and it took three days on the wrong antibiotic for us to realize she needed something stronger. Miserable! We just gave her the last of a 10-day dose yesterday, when B woke up at 4 a.m. this morning with a 103 temp. Took him to the doctor and wouldn't you know he has an ear infection too. First ear infection ever in this house and then we get two within two weeks. So I get B home from the doctor and Rhys comes home from therapy and is burning up. He has a 102 temp so I head back to the doctor to get him checked and he has strep. Sheesh. Luckily Zoe should still be protected from her meds and B is starting his, so hopefully the strep wont spread. Yuck.

Other than that we're preparing for Z's 2nd birthday party. My baby girl is almost two and I can not believe it. I'll post pics from the big day!

big sister

Zoe is very nurturing, I love to see her interact with both her brothers. She really is a big help in bringing things to Rhys, and she frequently entertains both Rhys and Beckett. She is even great (for the most part) at following simple instructions. It only gets better from here... right? :)

the past few months, in cell phone pics

several captured moments over the last few months

in no particular order

waiting for our first teeth cleaning

shoulder ride on Grandpa!

pool time last summer

who doesn't love the ball pit?

waiting for his MRI

lounging in the bouncy seat

at the Market with mom and Nonna

waiting patiently for her turn at pics

newborn cutie

too early for smiles, Rhys before his adenoid removal

Zoe helping her Nonna sell some goodies

Rhys watching Shamu on our October trip to Sea World

Zoe's first day of MDO

Rhys's first day of school

baby Beckett on the way home from the hospital

Rhys playing with his Mack truck

baby girl making a run to grab lunch back in August

sweet baby B

Rhys after his adenoid removal, poor kid

kiddo update

Lots going on around here. Nothing new, or necessarily exciting, just life. Three kids keep us busy, and with ours being so close in and it's a little nuts. Combine that with Rhys's extracurricular therapy and I'm one tired momma most days.

I've been struggling recently with the desire to go back to work and the need to make sure everything is properly taken care of at home. Well, that isn't a recent thing, but I've felt it a lot more the last few weeks. I don't want to leave my kids, but I am desperate to feel like I'm doing something that doesn't consist of planning meals or nap time, or scheduling doctor's appointments that don't interfere with our weekly routine. I never planned on being a stay-at-home mom, so this is really confining for me. Don't get me wrong. I am well aware that we are most fortunate that I can stay at home, and that I get this opportunity. I am blessed to be able to see my kids grow. But I also miss my career. And while I'm not crazy about the idea of having to juggle life with two working parents I feel I really need to think about this. The longer I am out of my career the harder it will be to get back in, to find a job, to leave my kids. The farther I will be behind the others in my field that are my age. I have little desire to be 35 and starting into an almost-entry level position. And I loved my job and miss the challenges my line of work posed to my now-mostly-fried brain. So I am struggling with what to do. As of now I've been off work for three years. That seems like an eternity, even though I realize in the whole scheme of things it isn't that long.

In the meantime, Cody has started a new job. It is a great opportunity for him and I'm proud of him for doing this. It's hard to move away from something you like and feel comfortable with, to move into the unknown. I'm very excited for him, but it means a little jolt to my routine. He now works 9-80s so that means I have to get up a little earlier and be home with the kids longer in the afternoons by myself. The next few weeks will be trial and error to get a new schedule down, but I'm sure we'll figure something out.

What are the kids up to?

Rhys:

• Is doing great in therapy! He has been riding the modified bicycle at PT. Similar to the one we have here at the house for him, but much more beefed up. He was peddling by himself!
• Is taking lots of steps in his gait trainer. He understands that he can move from point A to point B now, which is great. He still scissors his legs a bit, which impedes his progress. Man if we could get rid of that problem he'd be flying! Oh, and we are trying to work to get him to stand upright instead of leaning forward on his handle bars. But making progress nonetheless.
• Has lots of new words. The ST is very impressed with his ability to make sounds. He has difficulty making noises/sounds on command, but the ST admitted that he surprises her quite frequently with what comes out of his mouth. He points a lot now, which is very helpful when your child has little to no vocabulary.
• Is still doing great is school. It was rough for a day or two getting back into the swing of things after the Christmas break, but he is back into his groove. He has learned where is nose, mouth, ear and eyes are and will point to them when asked. He also knows a couple of colors, but isn't consistent with identifying them.
• Will point to pictures in a book and look at you as if asking "What's this?". He will go picture by picture until he points to each picture and receives a response from you.
• Is totally in love with the Jorge minion from Despicable Me. A plain ole' plastic blow up promotional doll was included with the movie and that poor thing has been tossed and beat up and loved on quite a bit the last few weeks. Rhys talks to it like it's a real person. I dread the day it gets a hole that can't be patched.

Zoe:

• Is oh so sassy. If I had to give a one word description of her, that would be it! She is full of spunk and has serious attitude.
• Loves school. Her little personality is starting to shine. According to her daily reports she is a leader in the class and loves art. One of my most favorite things is getting her art when I pick her up. She recognizes her friends when we walk into school and seems to play very well with them when I spy on her from the window peep hole.
• She loves her brothers and is very helpful to them. She brings Rhys and Beckett toys and tries to "help". She knows the routine when Rhys gets off the bus, and Monday she helped me push him into the house and get him unbuckled. I am forever amazed at how much kids pick up just by observing. She knows we unbuckle him and then remove him from the chair, and she made the motions to assist. Very funny!
• Favorite phrases are "What's this?" and "Where is it?". Some kids ask "Why?", but Zoe will ask "What's this?". And she asks it of everything. Everything! She points, taps her little finger and looks at you as she asks. As soon as you tell her what she's pointing at she will move on to the next item.
• Recently started swim. She now goes the half hour before Rhys's lesson. I am in the pool with her for a parent/child class and she has really surprised me at how quickly she's picked things up. Aside from water safety I am sort of kind of hoping she may want to do swimming as a life-long activity. Or a sport, that would be great. I can swim, but have no technique and always wished I would have had an opportunity to learn.
• Knows a few colors (pink and green), as well as the signs for them. She also says "two" and "five" in the appropriate sequence when I start counting one, two, three... I started doing that months ago to distract her from things and I guess she's picked up on it. She loves her baby dolls and is very into shape sorters.
• Has a short fuse. She gets very frustrated when things don't go her way. Especially if a toy doesn't cooperate with her attempts to play with it.

Beckett

• Is my PLD, what can I say? I'm totally in love with the boy. He is such a sweetie and loves his momma!
• Can sit unassisted, and does very well for the most part. He still can't sit up to play with toys without having a few balance issues, but he is well ahead where Z was at this point. She really didn't sit unassisted until seven-and-a-half months.
• Grabs at everything. He loves to touch and feel and put things in his mouth. I don't remember Zoe being that into chewing on things like he is.
• Still wakes up to eat at night. Sigh. I'm still working on it, and we're moving in the right direction, but the boy only sleeps for about 6 hours at a time at night. He is eating solids really well and is still on breast milk. He rarely gets formula, but will take a bottle as needed. I'm starting to give him water, but he isn't crazy about it.
• Rolls and scoots all over the place. He isn't up on all fours yet, but I think he's close to figuring it out.
• Loves to be held. He is such a happy baby, but especially when he's held. But he is stubborn. Yes, I can already tell.

more of my babies

six-month-old sweetie

I

love him

to

pieces!

this could be said of any parent of a special needs child

Parents of special needs kids get so fed up with having to deal with people who may not be uncaring but simply don't take the extra moment to understand. We are connected to our children in ways that other parents cannot understand. We know without anything being said just what is needed at any given moment. We learn to anticipate what will happen next. We become educated in the legal, medical, and government arenas more than some people who have degrees in those fields. We learn to fight the fight and go into battle with a smile on our faces because we have to not because we want to. We learned the hard way just what must be sacrificed in order to get the care and attention our children need. We learned to give more of ourselves to that child than we would ever conceive of giving to another human being. We not only live it, eat it, sleep it, we also dream it.

Our lives are consumed by the care of our children. Our lives don't exist except for the care of our children. Everything we do revolves around what may be needed next for that child. We have been humbled, humiliated, felt guilty, made ashamed, brought to the point of begging at times, made angry, made determined, driven to the point of desperation, all for the sake of our children. We have sat in hospitals for days, weeks, months praying that our child makes it one more day, praying that our child lives long enough to know how much we love them, stood the onslaught of surgeries that could be life threatening, procedures that could make the situation worse, been through treatments that would make a grown man cringe, all in an attempt to make our children better. We have died a little inside every time our child cries from the pain of all these things. We have dispensed more medication than a pharmacy could hold. We have tried every crazy experiment, every suggestion made, every piece of equipment, every new medication, every strange idea on the hope that it might work. We have dealt with quacks, con-men, inexperienced people, uncaring individuals, rudeness, and cruelty toward our children. We have lost everything, sold everything, traded everything in the pursuit of help for our children. We have given up friendships, family, relationships, and marriages all for our children. We have other children that have given up parts of their lives for this child. Children who never complain while they do without so this child may have something needed.

We have learned to be realistic people. We know how bad the situation can get and that we may lose our children before their time yet we hope for that one cure that will make it all go away and give us our lives back. We hope that we can help another parent or people in the future by sharing our ideas, thoughts, angst, miseries, hopes and dreams. We have been made strong by the honor of being in the presence of a child with the courage to face more needles, more doctors, more surgeries, more treatments and procedures with a smile on their face. We have stood strong when our children have lost the battle and gone before their time. We say we are okay all the time when inside we are struggling to make it one more day. We know the potential our children have, we see their abilities as well as their limitations when they go through the procedures, treatments, surgeries, and struggle to accomplish even the smallest tasks. We are made strong by seeing the courage, determination and – most of – the hope in that child’s face every day. We do this EVERY SINGLE DAY of our lives. So PLEASE do not treat us as if we do not know what we are talking about. We have learned to face down worse tragedies, more complicated messes, and deal with more situations than you can imagine. We have been bent, sometimes broken, medicated, treated, depressed, angry, sad, and most of all a little fearful of the future. We have slayed more dragons, conquered more worlds, invented more items, discovered more truths, and all for a smile when that child is happy. We are diplomats, advocates, fighters, unlicensed doctors, therapists, surgeons, nurses. We are a formidable force to be dealt with when it comes to our children. We have neglected our spouses, other children, housework, jobs, friends, family, society, and our own health because we have been busy in the pursuit of a better life for our children. So do not think that we are incompetent – instead remember that we are soldiers in the battle for a better life. We are more focused on which battles to pursue. Not for ourselves but for a person who cannot do it for themselves. So listen to us when we speak because we know what we are talking about. Don’t talk down to us, respect the fact that we are caregivers of the most special people in the world. We have an honor you will hopefully never receive, we earned it the hardest way possible, and we carry that badge of honor with us in every single thing we do, every word we speak, and every action we take.

~Borrowed from post on a blog we follow, credited as "so perfectly written by Candace Barnes - A Cerebral Palsy Mom"